Adult Dating 101 – Part 2

Hooray its Friday!

Here’s part 2 of Adult Dating 101:

Focus On What You Can Give, Not What You Can Get

If you only want love for what it can do for you, you’re not going to find it. Love is a constant exchange of nontangible giving and getting, but unless you are solid on your end with the whole “ready to be here for you and be with you and support you” thing, you’ll only be leeching on someone else. True love requires sacrifice and commitment

Put Compatibility First

Sparks are important. Fireworks are the sprinkles of the romance cupcake. They look nice, but they are the first thing to go. The meat of the relationship is what matters. Basically, do you want to spend every day together, doing everyday things, and supporting and taking care of one another through those every day things? That’s compatibility. That’s what builds a real, lasting love.

Take Time To Learn About Yourself

You cannot really be in a relationship with someone unless you fully know yourself. You need to be able to articulate what you need, what’s bothering you, how you’re feeling, and so on. Of course, you don’t have to be a perfectly healed, whole, and flawless human to have love, but the more you know yourself, the better off you’ll be.

Know That Just Feeling Something Doesn’t Make It True

You can feel down to your core that you’re “meant” to be with someone, and yet, that does not necessarily mean it will be accurate. You can completely feel that you don’t have a special connection with someone, and then one day discover that you do! The point isn’t to not trust yourself β€” it’s to be open to change.

Don’t Look For “Signs”

No message is going to come etched in the sky, letting you know this is your soul mate. You can’t tally up ways you seem “destined” to be together and assume that your certainty will create a happy, functioning relationship. It is so much more than that. The answers are within the relationship, not in the signs that point at it.

Give It All You’ve Got

Seriously, try as much in love as you do at work, or at the gym, or wherever else you’re motivated and energized and willing and determined. Open your heart and let it be vulnerable. The risk is worth the reward.

Sending loving weekend vibes! πŸ’‹

Photo credit: nastiavesna.com

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