My grandmother once told me to mind my knitting when others have said or did something that I took personally.
We feel things deeply because we are sensitive beings, but there are times that we have nothing to do with other’s bad behavior.
When people say “don’t take it personally,” it comes off insensitive. Knowing the right tools to cope when someone says or does something that you may take personally can help us not be as “affected.”
Know your worth
This was a hard one for me in my 20’s. Life was hard and full of uncertainties. Practice affirmations, or mantras “I am fabulous, beautiful, and intelligent,” etc.. Even if you don’t feel it right now. The sting of negative comments will not hurt as much because you are developing your self-worth.
Figure out your emotional triggers
Scientologist call it an engram. It is a detailed mental image or memory of a traumatic event from the past that occurred when an individual was partially or fully unconscious. Psychologist call it emotional triggers. Let’s say someone said something that was not negative, but you react at a category 5 level. It’s due to a past painful experience, or event.
Others are not perfect send them mental love
We are expected to be perfect in an imperfect world. Know that another human being said, or did something because they are suffering. It’s not about you. They too have traumas. When you send them some love mentally, you are practicing compassion. My BFF Ekhaterina taught me this trick.
Just say no
When you set boundaries at work, friend, or a lover that wants a threesome, and you don’t want any part of it, you are practicing self-love and care. The payoff of setting boundaries is that you will not take things personally because you did not compromise yourself emotionally.
Put your rational cap on
Ask yourself if you are rational. Assumptions are mostly irrational, guiding you to act and react in ways that are inappropriate. That prejudice hurts your chances of being happy and hinders your success.
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Photo credit: Dolce Gabbana, Bianca Balti