Are your fingers numb, feeling tired at the end of the day after an online date? Then you may be experiencing online dating burnout.
I hear many of my girlfriends experiencing this trend as they have already swiped well into the wee hours, gone out on several dates during the week, and by Friday, they succumb to a Netflix binge-fest.
It’s important to give yourself time to deal with and manage feelings of exhaustion and stress, even if the source is something like a dating app.
Try to stop swiping before bedtime, ban dating apps in the office, or take yourself away from the dating world for a little while to reassess what you want.
Take the time to write down your non-negotiables, i.e., monogamous, stable, good character, and integrity vs. your negotiables like the color of hair/eyes, height, etc. The more detail you are, the better off you will be to bring what you want closer to you.
You do not have to hustle your way into a relationship, detach, and practice self-care, so you do not become jaded. I was once a man-hater, and it got me nowhere for years. I kept attracting what I did not want because my thoughts and feelings were on the negative aspects of men. Until I practiced seeing the good in men, flexibility, and a loving heart, I began to attract quality men.
Since we have a very well-developed reward circuitry in the brain: we can look at something, think about the possible outcome, and that simple prediction is enough to prompt a rush of dopamine. Why not create it in more productive activities like a hobby, or attending a charity event where you can meet a guy IRL and create some good in the world.
Take a break from the dating apps for a while and delete your account. It will give your mind a much-needed rest while allowing you to be present.
Spend time with your friends as studies show women experience “feel good” emotions when we feel supported and loved by our “girl gangs.”
Be patient and loving to yourself. Just because the ideal relationship has not shown up on your time frame does not mean it’s forever. Life has its phases and always know something better is coming to you. Sometimes we just can’t see it at the moment.
Honor and respect your feelings and well-being enough to allow yourself a break whenever you need it.
Sending loving vibes! 💋
Feature photo credit: Steven Meisel