Throughout my dating years, I was unconsciously acting in ways that would turn men off.
After my 30’s and much cognitive behavioral therapy, I discovered that these behaviors were sabotaging all of my relationships.
Once I was made aware of these sabotaging behaviors, I got married.
Here’s how you may be sabotaging your love life without even knowing it:
I was faking it
No, not the big “O” faking it. 😜 Upon the first couple of dates, I was telling men I did not want marriage when buried inside me was an absolute burning desire for stability. In the end, it won’t work if either of you can’t be yourself and express your future goals, likes and dislikes in bed, etc. If you want a satisfying intimate sexual relationship, don’t pretend you like something that doesn’t turn you on.
Drama Queen Antics
Being half Colombian and French served me well in genes. Still, I believed the fallacy of South American telenovela cinematic outbursts. I probably learned this lousy behavior watching Spanish Telenovelas. I would make a scene if my boyfriend did the slightest thing that irritated me. Yell, berate, talk down. It was truly awful. Some men say that they will tolerate drama if they are getting fantastic sex. The hotter a woman is, the more drama a man will endure. On the other hand, if the drama supersedes her hotness, he will leave. Men in any relationship at one point will evaluate the situation, and most likely leave as they will feel disrespected.
When I was not working on myself, and just working to pay the bills, I was so unhappy that I would nag and complain, which is a total romance killer. Don’t transfer your unhappiness inside to your partner. Men are attracted to happy girls. If you are not happy, try to work on this before you ruin your relationship. Even on your best behavior on a date, you might find yourself complaining about the food or service at the restaurant, the traffic, work, friends, your family, whatever. Men don’t want to hear all this noise. I find myself doing this even now, ugh. Unfortunately, our bodies become addicted to these behaviors. Meditation has helped me tone down this not so pleasant behavior.
Being too Masculine
Until I began speaking to my therapist Dr. Pat Allen, I was completely unaware that all the while, I was acting like the man in the relationship. I always wanted a strong man, but I was attracting a female type of man because of my survival nature as I raised myself from a very young age.
Tony Robbins says that the more different the energy, the more passion in the relationship. When you both have the same energy, you may have more in common but lack passion. Robbins also says when women are stressed or tired, they go into protection mode and become more masculine…leading to zero possibility of passion in the relationship.
We all deserve love, but knowing how you can be sabotaging, it is a smart step forward.
Sending love vibes to you all! 💋
Feature photo credit: successempire.tumblr.com