During my dating years, I would fire and wire some of the most negative conspiracy theories in my head about my boyfriends. For example, if I did not hear back from my partner after two hours, I would think he is cheating on me, or if he were going out with the boys, I would think he does not want to spend time with me. All of these theories that I was creating in my head ruined past relationships.
Here are some tips, so that you don’t end up breaking up a good relationship:
Remember the day you fell in love with your partner
Close your eyes and see the good-natured person you fell in love with, things will seem more positive and doable. Sometimes, we need a little reminder of the good times to overcome the bad.
Let the past stay in the past
Don’t bring old scars into your new relationship. If you continue to bring your past relationships into your new one, and the hurt along with it, then you are self-sabotaging and creating the reality that things don’t and won’t work. To prevent your past from forming toxic thoughts, try to separate your history from your present. Your ex is not your current partner, no matter how much they look, talk, or act the same. If you can differentiate your past relationship from your current one, it will be much easier for you to stay more present.
You do you and let your partner be
Give up the need to control your partner’s actions like the desire to have 20 text messages a day, or an immediate response from your partner while he/she is at work. Be present and in the moment with yourself. Stay busy creating a life you love.
Don’t assume your partner’s thoughts, or feelings
When we put our negative feelings onto someone else or project them onto your significant other, what you are going to read is negativity from the other person. Never assume your partner’s feelings. Ask, communicate in a loving manner for clarification.
Write down your negative thought list, and come up with positive solutions
If you think that your partner isn’t interested in you anymore because they haven’t responded to your text, make a list of all the other things they might be doing, or positive things they have done in the past to show you how much they care. Think about other times they took a while to respond or evidence that they’re still interested.
In the end, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Your state of mind creates your fate.
Sending love vibes! 💋
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