While I was discussing a past relationship this week with a friend, I had a eureka moment. I needed a bad ex-boyfriend to find the love of my life, or else how could I appreciate the person I am with if I never felt the pain of a heartbreak.
There is a saying:
Sometimes a mans, or (woman’s) purpose in a woman’s life is to help her become a better woman for another man.
Perhaps, we need to be broken first before we can finally become whole.
Every person has made a mistake in love. There are times we are not in the right place emotionally, or mentally, so we attract another person who is a mirror of us. Remember “who we are is what we will attract.”
No one changes when things are easy. Our hearts and minds need to be broken to open up and discover ourselves to heal.
We need that bad ex-boyfriend mistake to help propel us toward the love of our life.
In the past, I had made the mistake of staying in a relationship well after I should have walked away the minute the guy said hello, or left before our relationship went downhill.
We always have the choice to stay, or leave in a relationship that is a constant battle of wills and ideals. Yet, no matter how many times we hope it will end differently, or just maybe work this time around—it never does. Just like thinking spoiled milk will taste better well after the expiration date.
The real reason is that it is not meant to be for us.
Our mistake to choose the bad ex-boyfriend is meant to end, usually bitterly, and often dramatically. Its purpose is to rock us to our core and challenge our very self and our beliefs about love.
We are forced to question what went wrong, and to wonder what love really means to us. This isn’t an overnight process, but one that we need to take the time to immerse ourselves in until we no longer hide from the truth.
The love of our life is out there waiting for us and when we meet there will be no question about why we needed to have our hearts broken in the way we did.
There won’t be arguments to conquer, or insecurities, nor any qualities to be changed. There won’t be unfulfilled needs, or drama around every corner. In reality, this love is going to show us why none of our previous relationships worked out.
The love of our life only comes when we are ready for it. When we have broken apart who we thought we should be and instead embraced who we are. This love only appears when we have gained the ability to believe that we deserve and are worthy of what we want and deserve.
Once we meet the “one,” we realize that our “bad ex-boyfriend” was really a north star all along, leading us to the love of our life.
“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” ~ curiano.com
Sending loving vibes! 💋
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Photo credit: ELLE Turkey Issue: March 2011 Models: Ioanna Ntenti & Nadia Serlidou Photographer: Koray Birand Stylist: Hafize Celikturk