Happy Tuesday everyone!
The biggest virtual hug and thank you to Jocelyn for sharing Obligaswiping dating trend with me on Monday. Love you young lady for keeping this blog on all current habits of daters.
Do you ever find yourself aimlessly swiping right through every letter of the alphabet for a man, or a woman as you binge-watch Netflix then you quickly decide never to see any of those potential suitors? Then you are guilty of “Obligaswiping.”
Cosmopolitan’s Carina Hsieh first coined the term in a piece published this past Friday. In the article, she explains that she came up with the term “because it’s inspired by an obligation to prove to myself that I’m ‘putting myself out there.’ Really, I just want the cheap and easy route: a bunch of matches with hot guys I could ‘totally date if I wanted to’ but who I don’t care enough about to follow through.” If you’re a human being who has ever been single and swiping on a dating app, I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me with a straight face that you’ve never done this.
Hsieh goes on to explain the cycle that obligaswiping tends to work in. First, she said, comes the realization that you’ve been single while all your friends have been coupling off. Next comes the shame of being the only single friend and the subsequent attempt to rectify the situation by getting busy swiping on apps. For Hsieh (and you if you’ve ever done this), the sudden onslaught of matches brought about by the spike in swipes results in a loss of interest. According to her, by the time she gets the matches, she finds herself “too exhausted to try to volley conversation back with a stranger.” Seeing the mass amount of matches in her inbox makes her feel like she’ll simply never be able to get through all of them. Eventually, she gives out her number to a few of the matches but a date never actually materializes. Finally, she swears off dating apps for a month or two” and then repeats the whole process all over again.
To explain away forgetting about someone or straight up ghosting someone on an app, Hsieh said that she tells herself, “If they really wanted to talk to me, they would.” I mean, haven’t we all been there? We want to sit back, relax, and have someone really go out of their way to show us just how much they really care.
Hmm, Ms. Hsieh, unfortunately, has an unrealistic expectation and she is better off duty dating because the fireworks based on your dating app profile will not make Prince Charming blow up your phone. Men and women have too many options, and they will move on, quickly.
Sending non flakey loving vibes! 💋
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Photo credit: Kim Kearl saved to Cozy Relaxing Days Off guard Aaliyah. Looking like a model ✨✨✨ @aaliyahgo