7 Ways people are drawn to you, based on your birth order

Happy Wednesday!

I am always curious why people attract or repel each other, so when I read this post, I just had to share.

If you’re the oldest child in your family you might be a wee bit smarter than your younger siblings. However, if you’re a twin, or the middle or youngest child you have your own set of superpowers. The ways people are drawn to you based on your birth order depends on whether they’re seeking qualities like leadership, balance, or adventure. How your birth order effects how your personality develops has been studied since the late 1800s, and a lot of the findings are still up for debate. But, the characteristics ascribed to twins, eldest, middle, youngest, ghost, and only children do seem to have some merit.

According to the website Health Research Funding, which draws on the research of renowned Austrian Psychotherapist Alfred Adler, only children tend to prefer adult company at a younger age and may find it difficult to share, though they’re also super flexible. Eldest children like to be in chargeand are natural-born leaders. Middle babes tend to be scrappy and resourceful because they can get lost in the shuffle between their older and younger siblings. With twins, one sibling usually adopts the older child role while the other can take on characteristics of the younger.

The youngest child in the family is often eager to break away from a dynamic where everyone is telling them what to do, and they’re most likely to pursue unconventional careers and go their own way. And, each of these personality types attracts different people. If you’ve ever wondered why the same types of people keep ending up in your orbit, these are the ways people are drawn to you based on your birth order.

1. If You’re The Oldest, People Want Your Advice

If you’re the oldest child in your family, you might find that you constantly attract people who seek your advice or want you to help sort out their lives. This is because the oldest child in a family develops qualities like leadershipand perfectionism, according to Encyclopedia.com. As an oldest child myself, friends seek me out for counsel on the regular. But, while it might look like I have it all figured out, I’m really just winging it. However, I’ll still give you advice because I seem to be good at solving everyone’s problems except my own. I am consistently told by others that I look super organized and seem to have it all figured out. Even though internally I feel like I have no idea what I am doing, to the outside eye I present as a classic eldest child.

2. Stuck In The Middle? You Attract People Who Want To Chill

While the oldest child can sometimes be described as high-strung, middle children tend to be chill AF, and their easy-going vibe is highly attractive. Being stuck in the middle makes middle children more well-adjusted than their older and younger siblings, Encyclopedia.com noted. And, middle kids tend to be super social and up for anything. If you we’re born in the middle you likely attract people who desire a relaxed, non-judgmental vibe, which you totally exude.

3. The Last Attracts People Looking To Have A Blast

When people want to have fun, they likely pair up with a youngest child who knows how to get the party started like a boss. Additionally, oldest and middle children are often attracted to a last-born child, according to psychologist Kevin Leman’s The New Birth Order Book. Oldest children appreciate a last born’s carefree approach to life, which is a complement to their headstrong qualities. Because middle children are adept at keeping the peace they’re usually willing to go along with the last born’s fly-by-the-seat-of-their pants approach to life. Basically, everyone can get along with the youngest child.

4. If You’re Twinning, You’re Winning With Everyone

Whether they’re identical or fraternal, Health Research Funding noted that one twin usually develops the characteristics of an oldest child while the other takes on the role of the youngest child. So, if you’re a twin who was born first you’ll likely attract people who seek the same qualities of leadership and stability they look for in an oldest child. If you are the twin-born second you’ll attract people looking for adventure and fun. Because twins assume these opposite roles they are also highly compatible with each other. Basically, twins get the best of both worlds.

5. The One & Only? People Love Your Flexibility & Intelligence

While only children often get labeled as selfish, a study published in the journal Brain Imaging and Behavior found that only children are more flexible than those who were raised with siblings. Only children also tend to have better relationships with their parents, develop positive relationships with adults sooner, and are more well-adjusted. If you’re an only child you attract people who want to hang out with someone who is flexible, emotionally intelligent, and creative. And, because as an only child who likely spent a lot of time alone, you have an abundance of all of these qualities.

6. People Love Ghost Children’s Rebellious Spirit

You may not have heard of the term “ghost child,” but this phenomenon was explored in the recent Grey’s Anatomy episode “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper” where it was revealed that Dr. Bailey had a sister who died before she was born. Health Research Funding described a ghost child as someone who was born after another child passed away, which can cause parents to become overprotective and limit the child’s freedom, just like Bailey’s mom did with her. Ghost children tend to rebel against this restrictive upbringing, and they attract people who love surprises, chaos, and excitement.

7. Odd Person Out? You Attract Opposite-Sex Friends

Being raised in a family where you are either the only girl or the only boy can also determine the kind of people you attract. I was raised with all brothers, and I often attract male friends who feel like brothers. It turns out this is pretty common. “When there is only one boy with a group of sisters, they tend to prefer spending time with women over men,” Health Research Funding noted. If you’re the only girl in your family, you may attract men seeking platonic friendships, especially those were raised as the only boy in a group of girls, and vice versa.

While birth order isn’t an exact science, because the environment you were raised in also plays a role, it might help explain why you consistently attract the same types of friends, partners, and colleagues. What’s more, it can help you understand the reasons behind your own attractions to others. Who knew it was so complicated?

Originally posted on Bustle.com written by:  Brandi Neal

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Photo credit:  Mario Testino


  1. Mrs.S LDN

    LOVED this!! I never thought about it much but I’m a middle baby and this really rings through for me and my siblings. The older and younger comments suit them to! This is so cool, thanks for sharing xxx

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