Thank you Zhanna, my stunning friend for inspiring me to write this post.
Many lives ago, I decided to move for love from sunny Los Angeles to cold AF Chicago.
My experience was 80 percent positive and 20 percent negative because I played house with my fiance’ and it did not work out. His family expected him to marry an Ivy League graduate and I was never that gal. I was a single mom struggling to make ends meet.
Here’s what I learned to do and not to do when relocating for love:
Discuss the future and get engaged
Playing house in another state, or country requires some type of commitment from both parties otherwise you will resent and hate every minute of your time being wasted by someone that cannot make up their mind.
Have a real talk about finances/backup plan
If it does not work out will your partner be willing to assist you financially in moving back home, or renting you an apartment until you get your head straight post break up?
Get a job, or find one once you move to the new city
It’s the best thing you can ever do for yourself as well as your social life.
Make friends that are outside of your relationship
If you break up, you don’t want those friends to pick a side, like your ex-boyfriend’s side and you are left in the dark ages paying lots of money for therapy sessions.
Make a list of the pros and cons of this person
You are about to make a sacrifice, so it’s best to write it down for clarity.
Move without a commitment
Move to another apartment other than your partner’s
This is your life, not a rehearsal.
Don’t harbor resentment
I hated Chicago! It was the coldest place I have ever lived. I harbored resentment towards my fiance every day I had to take the train to work.
Rely on your boyfriend to entertain you
You are a grown, gorgeous, empowered, show stopper of a woman that can find many things to do without your boyfriend.
Long distance relationships are endless honeymoon nights, but once you decide to move in together, that’s when you get to know the “real man” not his representative.
Hope this helps some of you.
Sending many positive love vibes! 💋